How to Become Confident: Simple Ways to Improve Self-esteem

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How to Become Confident: Simple Ways to Improve Self-esteem

How to Become Confident: Simple Ways to Improve Self-esteem

Confidence in yourself, your strengths helps to achieve success in all areas of life, and disbelief in them – to be content with little and regret the missed opportunities. At first glance, getting rid of the role of “loser” is incredibly difficult. But in fact, becoming a confident and determined person is much easier than it seems.

How to do it? What to start with? What techniques should be used? And how quickly can you get results?

Causes of Insecurity

Self-confidence, in terms of psychology, isn’t just a feeling or pattern of behavior. This, above all, an adequate self-esteem and a positive vision of himself as a whole. A self-confident person perceives his or her skills in a positive way. And such perception is useful in life for achieving goals and adapting to different life situations.

Confidence is formed throughout life, beginning in early childhood. A person learns to look at himself through the eyes of other people, first of all, his loved ones. If a child is told by his mother that he is lazy, unskilled, lame, a fool, the child forms a corresponding image of himself. And when he becomes an adult, his mother’s voice still sounds in his head and dictates how to act in certain situations.

Reasons for insecurity may also arise at an older age, seriously lowering self-esteem:

  • Frequent criticism from people significant to the person. They make him feel bad, even if he is placing bets on a online betting site or going to a gym.
  • Comparisons with peers, colleagues, acquaintances, girlfriends’ husbands.
  • Praise with a “but”, for example, “on the whole, it is not bad, but it could be better.
  • Comments about insufficient quality of work or other actions, for example, if the child writes a test with a “B”, and the parent tells him that next time it would be nice to get an “A”.

In these cases, the person’s efforts are devalued. He or she feels insufficiently good and unsuccessful and loses considerably by comparing himself or herself with other, more successful classmates or colleagues.

Is It Necessary to Become Confident 

Of course, you can put up with your own “psychological peculiarities” and move on. Once you tell yourself that not everyone is given to speak freely in public or confidently talk to the head of the promotion and salary increment. But the problem is much deeper than it seems. Insecurity affects almost all areas of life.

It can manifest itself in:

  • Anxiety.
  • Hostility toward the world.
  • A sense of hopelessness.
  • A growing fear.
  • Excessive bragging, from which, literally, people around you and those close to you run away.
  • Apathy and depression.

It’s difficult for a person to act and claim what he or she really likes. And even having dared to assert himself, he will expect to fail, which has an even more detrimental effect on self-esteem.

Low self-esteem over time leads to a desire to avoid people, “to hide from the world. But the rhythm of life dictates its conditions, causing wild emotional discomfort when it’s necessary to go to work, study or perform everyday tasks.

Is It Possible to Become More Confident

Low self-esteem and lack of confidence in your abilities – not a sentence. To become self-confident, you must first stop looking for someone to blame and understand that the problem exists, it exists, but it’s solvable.

Ask yourself if you are ready for change, if you want to reconsider your system of values and beliefs. In some cases, personal therapy with a psychologist may be necessary, but often a person becomes more confident when they begin to work on themselves independently.

How to Become More Confident

Recognize that there is a problem – an important step on the way to its solution. And to become a more confident person and believe in your own strength, it’s worth using simple techniques to work on yourself.

Keep a Self-observation Journal

Create four lists in it:

  • List 1. How I am now, what I don’t like about myself, what my shortcomings are.
  • List 2: How I want to see myself, why I want to become confident in myself, what I will become.
  • List 3: What prevents me from achieving each item on the second list.
  • List 4. What actions need to be taken to eliminate these causes.

It’s important not to answer in the abstract: “I want to see myself beautiful,” because in this case it is much easier to say to yourself: “I’m not beautiful, but there’s nothing you can do about it, because plastic surgery costs too much. Instead, you need to write down exactly what “beautiful me” looks like: what hair and nails should be like, what clothes should be like, what else would make you more beautiful.

Going through all the points step by step, you will realize simple but important things, as you will say to yourself: “I can”. And when you remember how long you put it off and were afraid to start, you will want to smile. And it will be the first and the most important step to become successful and self-confident soon.

Lift up Your Head and Spread Your Shoulders

To become confident, it’s important to support yourself on a physical level as well. If you’re slouching, trying to “close up,” or keeping your head down, a simple exercise can help:

  • Every day in front of the mirror, straighten your shoulders and raise your head, holding that position for a few minutes.
  • Visualize your confident self.
  • Becoming calmer and more confident will be easier if you initially understand the result you are striving for. Do a simple exercise.
  • Sit comfortably in a calm environment, take your time. Breathe, as though gaining air with a stomach. Turn off intellectual control and trust your sensations.
  • Imagine two images. One is you, but confident, and the other is also you, but unsure, as you are now. Assess how they look, how you feel about them, how they relate to you and to each other.
  • Imagine a scale from zero to a hundred between them. See how many percent of the confidence belongs to each image. Start “flipping” the percentages from confident to insecure. Observe how your “insecure” image changes for the better.